HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY! (:
Today was pretty alright, except for the fact that I didn’t have much sleep, because brothers kept waking me up at night. They wanted to sleep in my room, thus, I decided to agree or else they’ll bear stupid grudges against me. Then, I talked to Caryn till pretty late, but they already slept by then. Then, almost every hour, Martyn will either kick my bed, or Matthew will start talking in his sleep. Thus, I’ll wake up almost every hour.

This morning, when I finally got to sleep, my brothers woke up and did really noisy things that got me really upset. I woke up, and went to sleep on the sofa in the living room to avoid all the noise. Then, I managed to sleep a bit. After that, ate breakfast, and watched quite a bit of TV. Slept again, then woke up and used to computer. Talked to Joshua online, and listened to quite a lot of music. I realised I’ve more nice songs than I actually imagined. Martyn was being irritating again, he disrupted my conversation with Joshua, and he added many random stuff to it. I got really irritated and stuff, I guess I’ll just have to forgive him right? He was being really irritating the whole of today, I forgive him. (:

Anyway, after that, we went for Mum’s birthday dinner, Japanese buffet, not really what I expected yeah, since mum’s favourite food would have to be steamboat. I guess we couldn’t find a parking lot at IMM yeah, so Japanese buffet was just around the corner, thus we decided to have it. The food was really good and it was a huge spread yeah. (: After that, we rushed back home to watch mum’s favourite show, jinshun. Thus, I’m back here at the com again! (:


Okay, today was so much fun! Went for chem lessons early in the morning, thought I was going to be late or something, ended up we started late because leow believed us. (: Anyway, chem was enriching yeah, took down quite alot of notes. A great big thankyou to michelle for getting me milo, the milo totally woke me up. (: After that, we had group hug again!

Then, the 6 of us set foot on mission, bbq and to pierce twinkle ears in town. Ended up, we didn't do any of those huh! But we had lots of fun! Wisma wasnt exactly opened so early in the morning, thus we went to kinokuniya at taka to look around first. We saw so much nice stationary there! (: I wanted to get everything in the shop! Maybe I'll own it one day! Then, while the others went to the art shop first, I browsed through the toy shop with Gracia. It was really awesome, and super colourful! After that, we joined the rest at the art shop. Rachael wanted to get fabric paints yeah. (: Sarah gave really stupid ideas for a birthday present, but I guess it's really the thought that counts right, Sarah? Thanks anyway la. I know what to get already thanks to all of you, especially Gracia. After that, we ate some munchies because everyone was hungry!

We set off for Gracia's house. We took the 'longer' route yeah. It was truthfully really long, but I'm glad we didn't have to change train, and besides, I sat down all the way! (: When we reached, we went to the market to get chicken nuggets and some chips. After that we walked to Gracia's houes. It was pretty nice, though pretty small I'll have to say. But it was really cosy and could accomodate us 6 yeah! (: We all wanted to watch movies, but Gracia insisted on watching this series called 24hours or something like that. At first, everyone was bored by it. Slowly, everyone started to like it and got somewhat addicted to it. We watched episode after episode, it was super exciting, though pretty boring at first because we didn't understand it at first yeah. It was really action packed with lots of scary and dramatic parts. The plot was really great, and Twinkle was our professional plot predictor! (: We tried guessing too! I won like ONCE! Okay, maybe twice, but I can't really remember.

After that, it was finally 5, went to the MRT station with rachael and xy, then I took the other train. The trip was faster than I actually thought it would take yeah. Took the new bus home, pretty cool yeah! Second time taking that cool new bus, eh, actually third time. (: TODAY WAS REALLY COOL AND FUN! (: I really appreciate this holidays. I love the wonderful times spent together with friends, family and everyone else! (: This is truly the life, the wonderful life, and stressless life. I don't want to think about homework at all ):


No turning back!

Band was marvelous today, never seem better. Well, I really miss this kind of band practices. Mr Chua inspires me a lot, and especially today. Playing alongside him, really makes me feel like I want to improve and strive for the better. My volume was really nothing compared to his, and playing the same part as him, really makes me try much harder than I usually do. It makes me want to play better, and improve to sound like him. With every passing note he plays, although he may play a certain wrong note, he goes on with it, and tries harder during the next break. I guess that’s really what I’m lacking. Once I stumble, I lose sight of where I am, and sometimes fail to go back to the mistake. All this comes with experience I guess. I’ve learnt a lot from today’s practice, now, I really know what it means to play LOUD. What I’m playing now, is nothing as compared to Mr Chua’s playing. I will improve, as a person, as a musician and a member of the band. At first, I thought Mr Chua was playing loud to guide the band along as it was our first time playing the piece. And well, I figured out that perhaps that’s the actually volume he plays in a professional band, if I’m right, and I really want to join some professional band next time when I grow up, I really ought to improve, a lot. Not just me yeah, I will help the section as well. (:

Okay, today was pretty much alright yeah. I went to school early again for chemistry lesson. At first, I didn’t know where it was, so I climbed up to the class, and then saw no one in class. Then I decided to call someone. Called Gracia at first, but she didn’t know as well, however, she told me to call Caryn, and Caryn really did have all the answer. Went to the arts conservatory, I was pretty much just in time, the door just opened! Then, we started the lesson promptly at 8:00. Teacher was alright today yeah, but she separated sarah! Lesson was pretty slack, learnt everything before, what I really need would be practices. It was pretty fun as well. Then after that, Linda, XY, Rachael, Kelley and I decided to go the tanglin for breakfast, and supposedly to do homework as well. Homework was an utter failure la, we ended up eating and talking and doing other random stuff. After today’s trip to tanglin, I realised something, I won’t want to say it here though, it’s pretty personal. Anyway, after that, we went back to school for band at around 11plus, when they finished lunch. I didn’t eat lunch, only breakfast! J We played quite awhile as we find the key to the band room, in the end, XY, Kelley and I won, against Linda and Rachael. (: We found the key, actually we got it from tessa yeah! We climbed up all the way to the fourth level! I guess it was worth it yeah. I was the first one to start practicing, and blew the first note! I was really excited about band today, it was really great. Band is what I look forward to, what I really practice hard at, and what I do best at. (:

Anyway, from today, I realised that I’m a generous person, tag if you agree! [Be truthful okay!]
Is anyone going for acjc concert? (:





I’m really sorry if I have been insensitive over the past few days. I really didn’t mean it, thinking back on what I have done, asked and said, I’m really starting to regret it. I shouldn’t have asked so much. Well, this might have crossed your barriers, I really didn’t mean to. Forgive me will you?

Today has been really slack. Went to school early in the morning for A math lesson, it wasn’t really worth it, after the lesson, I felt so much more confused over remainder theorem. I guess I really need to do more practices in order to be able to master the topic. After that, decided to go home with Kelley. Lunch was cancelled, and shopping at Isetan didn’t make me feel like I really wanted to go.

Well, I came home, ate breakfast, watched TV, and soon, I fell asleep. Then, woke up, ate lunch, then watched more TV, life can’t get any better/worst. I’m kind of feeling guilty now, haven’t started on holiday homework, and many of the people I talked to have already almost finished it, I know I should start on it. But, seeing the amount of homework just puts me off. I guess I’ll just have to get over it, and start doing (!!!) I just bathed, and am here now, I guess this is the kind of life I want for my holidays, but is this really what I deserve? I guess not, well, owing to the fact that I did really horribly for mid-years, I really ought to start revising what I missed out on the last term, maybe SYF just pulled me away from my studies. I know I shouldn’t use SYF as an excuse. The dance girls had their SYF a few days before the exams, it is tougher for them to swap their mindsets, and they have to be consistent throughout the weeks.

Well, then again, maybe it’s because of the fact that I started studying too late. I really ought to be more consistent and not let anything distract me from my studies. It isn’t worth it, not right now. Perhaps deep down inside, I really feel like giving up studies to pursue something I take interests in, like music, like band, like my saxophone. These are stuff that I take much more interest in; in fact, it is the stuff I really like. Guess that’s where my passion is. But I can’t just give up studies now right? I used to be an all A student, but that was back then in primary. I really wish my grades is that good now, then, I’ll be able to attain everything. Impossible it may seem, but I’m going to achieve it, with God. I will trust in him.

Life hasn’t been really promising; I’ve been doing really badly, procrastinating like crazy. Band is what that gives me confidence. The moment I step into the band room, all troubles fade away. Once I take out my saxophone, and start to play a simple tune, it just takes me away from the world. I really love band, the tune I play, after awhile turns into something classier, something jazzier, then the next moment, it turns to rock. The same tune executed in a different manner is able to achieve such great heights. Just a simple tune, played with different feelings, can produce such great miraculous sounds. This is what that gets me really amazed during band. The feeling of achieve such things is really awesome. At first, when I get a really tough piece, or some solo, at first, I’ll at first just give up hope. Now, when I get this kind of pieces, I would know that I can do it, I’ll try really hard, I know I have what it takes to accomplish it, and make the crowd cheer like crazy! I guess it’s for the wonderful performance at the end of all things, the audience cheering with glee, and the smile on the faces, it just makes me feel really accomplished, the results are really worth the hard work. With this in mind, nothing is impossible. Even the impossible seems really possible with the amount of hard work we are going to put in.


Let’s do the impossible!


I LOVE YOU in the different languages. Cool! ;D

(english) I LOVE YOU
(polish) JA KOCHAM CIEBIE
(french) JE T'AIME
(hindi) HUM TUMHE PYAR KARTE HAE
(czech) MILUJI TE
(slovakian) LU'BIM TA
(italian) TI AMO
(ukrainian) YA TEBE KAHAYU
(german) ISH LIBE DISH
(chinese) WO AI NI
(greek) S'AGAPO
(hawaiian) ALOHA WAU IA OI
(lithuianian) TAV MYLIU
(korean) SA RANG HAE YO
(japanese) AI SHI TE RU
(romanian) TE UBSEC
(bosnian) VOLIM TE
(albanian) TE DUA
(filipino) MAHAL KIITA
(spanish) TE AMO
(portugese) AMO TE
(arabian) ANNAH BE HEBIC

TUITION’S THE LOVE!
Tuition makes me go high

Today was great. Church was never better, we had games again, not really fun though, but I guess the purpose was to achieve something out of it. After that, the lesson was alright yeah, we did the steps of faith on the paper. After church, went to town with mum. Daddy and the rest had to go back home because Martyn is coming back from camp yeah. Lunch was at Macdonald’s, it wasn’t exactly what I expected, but it was alright yeah. I ate the new meal, forgot what it’s called. Something to do with Shrek 3, it was awesome, tasted pretty good. After lunch, we shopped a bit, then I headed off for tuition. At first, the class was full of people I didn’t really know. Then, after that Linda and Jane came. Tuition became livelier after that yeah. Michelle didn’t come, and I still don’t know why. Clarence didn’t come as well, coincidental or what? Anyway, 2 to 4 was alright on the whole, didn’t really know how to do redox at first, now I think I got it yeah. 4 to 6 was the life! The class glowed with radiance and colour. Everyone seemed really happy and stuff, maybe it’s just me. Linda was being annoying again, okay, maybe it’s me. I didn’t really get much done during the 4 to 6 one. I got really tired then. But it was so much fun, we talked about various random stuff, and we also looked at joshua’s report book. Saw that same picture of him; comparing it with him in person is so much different from looking at it on the net, and comparing it to some picture of him in my mind. I guess people changes a lot. Tuition was really great; I kept laughing and blushing like crazy. Joshua and chi kai were laughing like crazy as well, but their faces didn’t turn as red as mine! Then, I went home by PUBLIC transport again, two times in a row already. J I guess this is what I meant to be. And when I told Linda I stay in HDB, she didn’t believe, she actually though I lived in some super HUGE bungalow in jurong huh! I guess I may seem rich on the outside, but I’m not exactly that rich? I guess my parents aren’t willing to spend on a huge house. That doesn’t mean I’m poor as well. All my riches are in heaven!

On the way back, I thought, "What is beauty?" Sounds easy to answer, but when I start to think of the answer, it isn’t as easy as it seems. Beauty, there are mainly two kinds of beauty, inner beauty and outer beauty. Well, outer beauty isn’t as important as inner beauty I guess, that’s what everyone says. But do we really mean it? Living in a high going society, though many say that inner beauty is what that is most important, we are living life as if our outer beauty is the most important. We care so much about how we look, and what we wear, and how we conduct ourselves. In the olden days, to be beautiful, you need to wear a corset and have really small feet! Really amazing how time flies, now to be beautiful, the world says that one must have a perfect figure, with pretty huge and attractive eyes, and wear amazing clothes. I guess that isn’t really possible to everyday women, the world also produces and sells so much wonderful and delicious food out there in the markets, how tempting can it get. Counting calorie levels and hosting one million losing weight shows isn’t exactly the way to go. I guess, that’s my opinion on such things yeah. You don’t need to be pretty to be beautiful.

Dreams DO come true after all. (:

Today has been somewhat alright yeah, life is paving its own way. Slept really late yesterday, I finally finished bearings, but left some blanks, a few yeah. Bearing isn’t as easy as it seems to be, I guess more practice and then I’ll be able to master the topic. Slept at around 1 plus, I had to deliver wake up call today, so I woke up early. Went back to bed after the call, back to dreamland, I had a dream, not a great one though. Then, finally woke up at around 10 plus.

Watched TV, bathed, cut hair, bathed again and here I am now. Nothing much is going on. I guess I have to put in more spice in my life, add more colors to it yeah. I’ve been bathing multiple times these few days, must be the warm weather in Singapore. Nothing much went through my mind today.

Today seemed to me as a pretty stress-less day, and day without worries. I guess this is the life I want to lead, but without those hectic schedules, I won’t be the person I am today. I would be some slacker, always waiting for things to come and not going after things that I want to happen. I guess that wouldn’t be the kind of life I want to live yeah. I guess I have my expectations of what life has in store. I hope they really do come true.

What dreams are made of
By Hilary Duff
Have you ever seen such a beautiful night?
I could almost kiss the stars for shining so bright.
When I see you smiling, I go oh oh oh!
I would never want to miss this
In my heart I know what this is
This is what dreams are made of
This is what dreams are made of
I’ve got somewhere I belong
I’ve got somebody to love
This is what dreams are made of.


Okay, today has been a really fun day! ;D Summarised, I went to school, airport and rafles place.

School was alright yeah, mass run as usual. Perspired more than I actually planned to, well, I bathed in school as well, so I guess it's alright. The first and second period was E math, we actually finished trigonometry, so cheers to that. But that also means more homework! Then, geography was free period. Nobody wanted to have lessons, so miss tan agreed as well. Played games, and talked a bit. Then, after school, we went to bathe at the G block, and ended up leaving by the backgate. It was cool yeah, we met gracia at the mrt station. Twinkle was supposed to come, but she didn't because no one had a calculator! She missed out on all the fun la.

Anyway, we ate soya icecream, not really to my taste, I dislike beans. :( Then, we headed off to the airport. Though the journey seemed really long, the endless chatters, and fun and embarrasment on the train kept us interested! It didn't seem that long after all. We camwhored quite abit on the train yeah, and at changi station huh! :D I bet the security guards thought we were mad or something. It was really fun on the whole yeah, then we went for lunch. Gracia led us to the airport staff canteen. The food was good and cheap yeah. Great Italian fare, at a reasonable price. We kept switching the food around, it was great fun. :)

After that, we headed off to find a 'secluded' and 'carpeted' and 'supercold' place to sit down and play card games. We ditched our first two factors. In the end, we ended up sitting outside some food place. It was pretty weird la, but the games we played were great fun. We played almost everything. From heart attack to indian poker to murderer. It was really great to be among such great friends. :D Then, we decided to head off to terminal 1, and met liuxin. Sat a burger king for around half an hour, then I had to leave.

Well, I had to meet my parents at rafles city. I left like too early. Ended up sitting at the fountain stoning away. Should have really spent more time at burger king. Anyway, parents and matthew came. We went Italian again, and the food was great yeah. We also had octopus balls. :D Then, daddy and mummy bought me a crumpler. Thanks alot yeah.

They said it was to motivate me to study harder. I guess, since I accepted the gift, I have to not disappoint them no more. They gave me alot of confidence in myself for the upcoming exams. I really ought to start studying, and stop procrastinating. Though it really sounds easy, it's really tough now yeah. I'm totally in a holiday mood! :( I guess I really gotta step out of it. I can't afford to do so badly anymore, so many people have such high hopes for me, I can't disappoint them, not again. Yeah, after that, came home, slacked around abit, and now I'm here yeah. I really got to start the studying and doing homework again. It's not going to be easy, but I'm going to do it yeah. :D






With faith and determination, nothing is impossible.


Today, went to school as usual, not much lessons again. Ng was being stupid, she kept nudging twinkle, because we were playing random games, but her monotonous voice really makes me go to sleep, so to keep awake, we play stupid games. All in all, her lessons were super unproductive at all. After that, was Chinese, Twinkle, Rachael, Caryn and I were sitting at the bench and talking about really random things and doing really random things as well huh. Then, one period later, we retreated back to our class, but realised there was still no teacher, thus we decided to sing Christian songs outside the class. I guess this was the high point of the day, getting close to you, lord. After that, we went for recess, supposedly early, end up, we ran down since the bell rang. Then, more free periods after that, and it was clean and green. It was absolutely tiring, and friends criticized me for really dumb reasons then, so I felt really inferior and emo, and stuff. I didn’t really want to do anymore stuff; I wasn’t in the mood yeah. Sorry everybody. Then, had parent-teacher meeting, I bet teacher told my mum stupid things about me, I really got to reason out things later. BAND was great today. I felt so much better during band. Thank-you section, especially Mavis who made me feel really good, thanks a lot yeah! You really made my day, but don't feel so inferior. Though that bunch of random notes were really made up, you know that you can do better yeah, besides, you're the band major. I ought to be the one feeling inferior huh! I guess, we're still friends yeah. Practice harder, and maybe you'll reach my standard of things. ;D Oh, and you've got to thank me for running all the way to the band room just to get your wallet. I wouldn't do that for just anybody, but I did that for you. Honoured? You ought to be. Cheer up yeah.

Okay, life hasn’t been too well for me. I feel really stupid. Well, at least now I know that I really am. Perhaps I should really pursue a career musically, with my talents playing the saxophone. That’s what I really am good at. Academically, I know that I’m really dumb, and have really no talent for studying. I really studied really hard, and tried my best to study smart. I guess all these didn’t pay off at all. I scored really badly for the recent mid-year exams. My mum even had to meet with HOD. Why does school emphasize so much on academics? Now, there’s no more CCA points for O-level, so what’s the point of even having a CCA? In fact, I rather have scores based on CCA, and then I’ll definitely be able to get my As. I guess that’ll be impossible for now, till maybe a century later or something stupid.

What has life has in store for me? I really wonder, exams grades are horrible, and my playing isn’t exactly really good. What other things can happen to make life even more unbearable. Sometimes, I just want to give up, then I tell myself, there are so many people out there cheering me on, and giving my the endless amounts of encouragement. Maybe I’m not so stupid, I just need to find the right studying technique, or maybe I really am stupid. And no matter how much studying I do, I won’t be able to even get a top 20 in class at all. Sometimes I really wonder what I live for, I really want to say it’s for God, but truthfully, I haven’t been reading the bible. Singing praises for him during school hours has really made me reflect on my life. I guess life isn’t all about studies and school or anything of the sort. I don’t know what I’m talking anymore, I’m talking in riddles, and it’s getting really confusing. I guess I’ll just have to trust in God to improve my living situation, and give me hope in life. Pray!

I would love to end on a lighter note, a funfact about me.
I sleep best on…














A moving vehicle! [:D]

Today was alright on the whole. Nothing much in fact, the earlier part of the morning was lessons, then after recess, it was free periods all the way to the end. Kelley and I ended up leaving early, because there wasn’t physics at all. I wasted a lot of time today, could have done more productive things. I guess another day wasted, I can’t afford to waste my night either. I left E Math textbook in class, I guess I’ll have to do A Math today then. I spent the afternoon sleeping, didn’t really do much thinking today. Life seems pretty slack for me; tomorrow will speak a whole new thing. I guess it’s a different thing everyday, and everything changes with each passing day. After all, today isn’t really wasted; I had a really good rest after the two continuous sessions of band practice. I guess I’ll be able to concentrate better in school tomorrow.

Tomorrow’s going to be great, I hope.

Okay, I decided to live by facts, instead of forcing out what isn’t really happening. I can’t want things to happen and not do anything about it, and what I want doesn’t mean have to happen. Band has really changed a lot through out the week. I’m emphasizing on A LOT! Well, things that I least wanted to happen had already happened, and things I did not expect to happen also happen. I ought to apologize for the unfinished and unclear post yesterday, I wasn’t thinking straight and I didn’t want to offend anyone, and besides, I had not sort out things that were going on in my mind. In short, I was in a pretty dazed state yesterday, all that happened really caused me to think about a lot of things. Now, I figured out, thinking about certain matters would help, but give me a headache. I decided to accept the facts in front and get along with life. My small presence wouldn’t make a huge difference anyway. I guess I’ll just stick to what I do best, and what I can do, and perhaps work things out. I will think about the matters that I really need to look out for, and not think so much about the rest. The more I think about those other things, the more I feel that things aren’t going the way they are supposed to be going. I guess I’ll just concentrate on my part of things. Being the new SL of saxophone section is going to be a tough journey for me, I know that I’ll face a lot of challenges, and difficulties. But, I also know that I’ll do my best to overcome whatever that comes in my way, in the section’s way. Life isn’t going to be easy, but I’m not going to give in, and give up on it. Besides, my life isn’t exactly the toughest of the toughest, there are so many people out there living much harder lives, and they are still coping well with them. I can’t complain about this, what is my life anyway, as compared to the life of the sickly, the poor and the unfortunate.

Today, we had lessons all the way, not a single free period. On the whole, it was pretty alright, apart from English. The teacher never fails to put us to sleep; in fact, all her lessons are super boring. I really wonder whether she really puts in effort into her lessons at all. She really ought to sit in to one of our more interesting classes, and perhaps pick out a thing or two, and put it into practice. We had assembly today, it was pretty enriching, and we took photos as well! It was about poetry made interesting, and we made up a poem for mr ho! I contributed a line as well! Well, the poem was:
Mr Ho because he has sexy socks
[one line here, but I can’t remember what]
He tries to be goldilocks
But ends up having chicken pox!
It was pretty fun on the whole! But after that, was lunch then SPA. My SPA was totally crapped up. I did the wrong experiment and low was laughing at me! That got me really upset, but whatever yeah, I’ll definitely do better the next time. Then, I went for band, helped songyang with her instrument, she opened it the wrong way round. Then, tuned and went in for combines. Mrs Chua emphasized a lot on having a good sound, good tone. In fact, good meant STRONG. I guess this is one of the band’s weaknesses. Being a all-girls’ band, we don’t exactly have the strong sound, but we believe in ourselves and we are going to work it out. So, instead of sounding like a all-girls’ band, we are going to sound like a men’s band! That’s going to be great, we are also going to get gold with honours for the next SYF. When Mrs Chua believes so much in us, it really gives me the reassurance that the band will be able to achieve such great heights. In fact, it’s not just reassurance; it’s also the confidence that we will be able to do it. Though I will not be playing, I will do my best, training the section up to achieve the impossible. It’s going to be difficult, but with the section cooperating, and working hard, persevering with every hardship we face, encouraging each other. I know we’ll be able to do it. With Mr and Mrs Chua, the journey will be easier, with them there for us to clarify all our doubts and for them to lead us along, the journey will be much simpler. I’m glad we have such wonderful and caring pair of conductors. :D I love you loads!

Sandra, if you ever read this, you know I will always be there for you. Although we’re playing different instruments now, we’re still in the same section. I know it’s difficult to adapt to these new changes. Think of it as a new experience gained, well, you get to learn a new instrument. It’s going to be difficult, but I have faith in you, I know you can do it. The section believes in you too, I’m sure. You were great today, even Mrs Chua complimented you. Truthfully, you have a lot of strengths, you are able to pick up things really fast, and can hold a good and steady tone. What you can improve on now, would be dynamics I suppose. Since you’re playing the part on your own now, it’ll be necessary to play out. I can feel what you’re feeling yeah. Speaking from personal experience, I know it’s difficult to play a part alone, especially since you’re still a sec2. But I did it, it’s not impossible, and in fact, it has really helped me a lot. Playing the first part alone in sec2 has really helped me grow a lot as a person, as a saxophonist. You can’t always rely on a senior, and hide behind a senior. Have to grow, learn to play your part along. Musically, I know there’s no one to tune to yeah, listen to the people around you playing the same part, they’ll help a lot, trust me. If you don’t know how to play a part, just listen. Unless it’s a solo or something, there’ll definitely be some instrument playing the same part as you yeah! With your ears, seriously, nothing is impossible. Lastly, I would like to end of with telling you that, these changes happen really unexpectedly, I know. But we also have to adapt to them, and make the best out of what you have. You can’t always get what you want sometimes. Smile yeah, the world will be a happier place with people appreciating what they have and not crying out because they don’t have a small something else. You have what it takes, trust me, jiayou yeah!

AM I ON EARTH? I THINK I'M ON VENUS!!!!


Okay, life has been really relieving. In both a positive and negative manner. Well, biggest event today, handover of band comittee. It wasn't exactly very expected, neither was it very obvious. I guess this is what life truly about, changes. This reminds me of the song, changes, from Shrek 2. :D Alot has taken place, seriously. Firstly, Sandra moved to tenor saxophone (!!!!!!!!!!!) AH, that means that I'll have to play first on my own again. I guess I'll have to get used to it again! Really ironical how things has been, first, I play the saxophone with kelley and mavis. Then, I play with kelley for the to the stars concert. Then, kelley goes to LWW. And then, it's down to me and mavis. THEN!!! I move up to 1st when yifang and sheryan stepped down. After that sandra joins me. THEN IT'S BACK TO ME ALONE AGAINN!!! I feel like the world is playing around with me or something. I guess I'll just have to accept it, and adapt to it. TOO MUCH CHANGES!!!! I don't feel like blogging anymore.


Okay, life has been full of stuff for me. Firstly, today went home by PUBLIC transport. That is a pretty huge improvement, considering the fact that I have been taking taxi home from tuition ever since 3409384765 weeks ago. Okay, that seems huge, maybe not that exaggerated but still, it seemed like a really long time since I last took MRT home. I guess this can be part of my saving money scheme. It is not exactly working out for me, I have been spending money like crazy, okay maybe not, but my wallet seems pretty empty. I guess it is the lack of coins to create the illusion of heaviness. Taking transport home enabled me to think of many various things, all linked up to one another. I thought through my whole life, and realised what a fool I have been over these past few weeks.

Life has been really challenging so far, I have not been doing well for the recent mid-year exams, and when I say not doing well, I mean really not doing well. Now, I am not ashamed to say that my L1R5 is 39 for this exam. I feel really stupid and all saying that. I guess life is not exactly all about exams. Eunice also said that, even if I do not do well academically, it is not the end of the world; I have other positive points like, I am pretty good musically. Well, not being good academically doesn’t mean that I am a failure, I can definitely work on it, and life is not just based solely on results, it also based on other various factors.

Life has not been a smooth breeze of wind for me. There are so many ups and downs to life. I have not been reading the bible lately, and I am feeling a lot like a Sunday Christian. This makes me feel really bad. I do not just read the bible for my family, or even for friends, I am doing it to ensure that I have a personal relationship with God. Even now, after the exams, I feel that I have been straying away from God, in a bad way. I really need to get back on track. What if today is the last day on earth and Jesus will be coming tomorrow? If this really happens, there goes my life, I will be in hell, God, forgive me of all the sins I have committed, I would love to start life anew. I guess this is not exactly possible, but with God, nothing is impossible. I will do my best to pray and read the bible and sing praises to God, everyday, no matter what happens.

I have been leading a really horrible life. Does money really make the world go round? Money is not everything. And money cannot get you everything, not love, not friends. Maybe you can buy friendship but it would not last long. I guess it is the same when it comes to love, so what if you have the money but you have a horrible personality? Money will not matter anymore. I guess that is what I build my theory from. However, money to a teenage girl like me means quite a lot. Money to buy branded goods brings a smile to my face. However, when we go to heaven, these earthly things would not be of much use. In fact, it is useless. Then again, when I donate money to the poor or the sickly, it brings a wider smile to my face; I guess this is pure happiness. This kind of happiness is what that really brings a frown together to form a smile, a sweet one.
Now, I really want to live a peaceful life, a life without worries. Hakuna Matata, it means no worries for the rest of our days. Well, it is really man who makes our very own lives complicated, I will try to simplify mine, and live a worry-free life, close to God.

Okay, today in one word would be "FUNNY!"

Firstly, I had church in the morning. Joshua woke me up, as usual, but I could not exactly wake up, much too tired. I really wonder why, I did not do much yesterday, and I did not have a nightmare. I guess it is just me again. Then, I finally woke up at 9, when he called a second time. Thanks yeah! I did not really eat breakfast, and then went to church. Leanne’s father took the class today, truthfully, it was really boring. Nothing went into my head, I did not understand a thing he was saying, I guess that is a trip to church wasted, and I will have to really go through what he said earlier on.

After that, we went to plaza sing for lunch. Dad scolded boys for quarrelling with each other. It really spoilt my appetite, thus I did not really eat much for lunch. Then, my mum has to go to Care four as my cousins would be coming for dinner today. That meant that I would have to take a train down to Somerset on my own. It was just one stop away, and I had to walk really far to get to the platform, really hate it. I cannot blame my parents, they have their stuff to do, but I really cannot help but be angry with them. I hate myself for feeling such things so easily. I already know why they cannot do it, yet I still am so not thoughtful towards them I guess I really ought to be more understanding. I will work on it.

Then, reached tuition, met Linda and Jane downstairs, we took the escalator up one floor then we realised we were late, so we decided to take the lift up. 2 to 4 was not really productive. We talked quite a bit. Linda, Jane and me did the worksheet on practical, there is going to be SPA on Tuesday. I guess this means that I have more time to study than the rest of the class. Although it is not really fair to the rest, but I do not really have a choice.

Next was the 4 to 6 tuition, Linda did not stay. But I guess I had the rest to push me on, it was really funny! All our conversation topics ranged from choir, to band, to singing, to ballet! I was really amazed at how Johnathan could sing. He sang a really high note in the lift, and Oliver was like pretty amazed as well huh! Wait till they hear me sing phantom of the opera!

I know my voice really sucks la, but still singing is one thing that brings my stress level down at times. When I feel really angry or stuff, then I will start to sing, it just takes away all my trouble along with it. It brings me to a world of my own, a wonderful world with no worries, no trouble. I guess that is what I want the world to be, impossible though. I got to carry on dreaming my fairy tale away, and hope it comes true one day. Then, I could not decide whether to take taxi or MRT home, the class really helped me decide. Maybe not exactly, but still, we flipped coins! The guy beside me was really nice, I dropped my handbag on the ground, as usual, and he helped me pick it up, he even gave me a smile. :D

I think I am touched easily, really easily. It just takes a small act to bring a smile on my face. Joshua bought his seaweed, and shared it with the guys. They did not have their weird tasting sessions today. I laughed a lot today as well! And the guys were talking in weird languages when they talked about the army and stuff. We also compared our weekly allowance. And stupid me thought they were talking about monthly allowance, so I said 120 a week! Oliver actually thought I was really rich.

Then, I said I wanted to marry a rich guy. It did not exactly turn out right; I am taking it back now. I just want to marry someone who loves me, and loves god. With God, everything will turn out just fine. Anyway, who cares about money, you cannot bring it up to heaven with you, and neither can you bring up popularity with you to heaven. I also realised today, how much I miss my water bottle. Joshua has the same one as me, coincidental again. It’s my third one already so far. And it seems like I am losing one every year. And this one got lost in the physic lab, never to be found again I guess. Someone get me a new bottle! It is the transparent Nike one, the one which can be squeezed to get water! A horrible description, but I guess it is the best since my brain is not working already, thanks to the 4 continuous hours of tuition!

Then, I took public transport home, also because the taxi queue was horribly long! I guess God meant for it to be this way. Now, I am back home, waiting for a chance to use the computer to upload this on blogger. :D

I guess, I really love my life! :D

I ought to treasure every little thing in my life, and not take anything forgranted. It is not really wise to do so anyway. Life is best lived with all these little things treasured, and pleasured. This is what life is about, not just about studies, but also the little things that come along with it. Example would be those study sessions that bonds friendships. These little things added up would be equated to a wonderful life lead in earth. Well, our purpose on earth is not only to enjoy life, we have responsibilities. Okay, this is getting really ironical. We have to fulfill these responsibilities as well in order to attain stuff. In conclusion, I feel that we should have a balance between these factors in order to achieve great things.


Ps. My family just doesn’t understand me, the way I work, and they way I feel. And they appear to be really nice people, but are they who they really are deep down inside? I guess not, they just SEEM to know me, and think that they know how I feel. ARGH! I feel like shouting out vulgarities. God, bless them, and me too, and help me to forgive them.

On a lighter note, this post contains, 1780 words. :D
A new record.


Time to move on with life.

Today's post is going to be long. Band has started and the sec 4s are going to step down really soon. Sheryan came back yesterday to return the baritone saxophone mouthpiece. Well, things have really changed. Sheryan coming back remind me of the old times, the good old times. Though I really miss the old times, I guess times will have to change, and perhaps for the better. The band has gone through a lot, from concerts to NBC to SYF. We've really progressed a lot as a band.

Now things will have to change, I won't get used to it. Although there isn't any sec 4 playing the same part as me, I will still feel the sense of missing somebody. There would be someone there missing in my life. Liwei, although you may not be with us physically during band practices from next week onwards, you'll always be there with us, mentally. We'll miss you a lot!

But I guess things will have to go on, we will do our best in whatever we do and not let you or the band down in any aspect. We will strive hard to achieve the best and make the best out of all our band practices. As we all know, slacking isn't right, and does no good to our band health, we all need to practice in order to acquire a higher level of playing skills, and also to be able to learn faster. With the ability to pick up things faster, many skills would be mastered at a greater speed and there would be not much of a need to be frustrated over little things.

Well, even though I may be the best player in the section, doesn't mean I'm the best, I know. I mustn't be complacent or arrogant. I'm working on it. I know that there are so many other players out there, being the same age, with so much better playing skills. I will help the section improve as well as myself. The sec 1s are equally important at this time; they really need to work out on their basics, and maybe their intermediate. Mavis and I will do our best to achieve whatever deems necessary for the sec 1s to be able to have an easier life at the end. As we all know, basics are the most important. Without our fundamentals, nothing is achievable.

I would love to end with a quote from what Sheryan wrote in the note from the to the stars concert, "bring out the crescent spirit, and play with all your heart." Well, although there may be a lot of pressure to deal with, we must make the best out of it, playing the pieces with all our heart and soul, and feel it. We will continue to bring out the crescent spirit in everything we do, and not let CGSSB down! :D

Okay, recap of Thursday and Friday.

Thursday, was a killer day. We received all our results. I did really horribly, truthfully. And I still don't know what went wrong. I really studied hard, although not as hard as common test. Well, at least I could have passed 4 out of 8. But this time, I failed 6 and passed only 2. I ask myself, why do so many other people do so much better than me, even though they don't really study much? Could it be because they have external tuitions? I also have tuition what? Maybe it's because I don't really pay much attention during tuition? I really ought to work harder during tuition and not take such things for granted. From now on, I promise to be serious during tuition and not let my mind wonder somewhere else during any point of tuition. I will clarify all my doubts and not be afraid to ask anything, even though I may sound stupid. Well, now I know I am truly stupid, I know. Don't try to comfort me or anything, it'll just make me feel worst. I also promise to study smarter, and with more focus and concentration during those study sessions. I will only listen to music and study when necessary and not sing along. I also promise to do my best to pay attention during lessons and only sleep when it's really necessary or when I already understand fully the concepts of that lesson. I will also minimize my usage of the tablet pc as it may get me distracted during lessons. I will only use it when it's really necessary and not for the wrong reason. With all these measures taken, I'm sure my grades will improve tremendously if I keep to them.

Well, band on Thursday was alright. We went through Yorkshire ballad. I could play almost everything now. Just need to work a bit more on my running notes and articulation. Other than that, it's pretty much alright. I really hate my tone now, it's getting too bright, much too bring for my taste. I ought to change reed soon, maybe a 4 would darken my tone, or even vandoren. But then again, a bright tone is also good, depending on the songs we will be playing. For noah's ark, it would be great for those bright times. It would also be easier to play running notes. But for Yorkshire ballad, I can't really play the soft parts well. Sec 4s didn't announce committee today. I guess it's going to be on Monday. They told us to meet at 3 o'clock at the band room. Xiangyi and Kelley have spa, so they can't come. Poor things, I hope they postpone it to the end of the day or something like that.

Anyway, phantom of the opera was really great, every aspect, the lighting, the music, and the acting. I was in awe of the cast, they were really great. I really wonder how they managed to sing their best out there in front of a huge audience. I would be freaking out before the performance. Well I guess that's one thing I have to pick up. I must have courage to play out during a performance despite the huge audience. Talking about band again leads me to thinking about how my section would survive without a efficient tenor saxophonist. Okay, for main band, the section has 5 altos and no tenor after liwei steps down. Well, for the rest who are not in main band, we have two tenors and one alto. So total when they all come to main band, we'll have 2 tenors and 6 altos. A good balance, but for now, it's horrible. Mr chua wants someone to move down to tenor, well, no one seems perfect for the job. After much consideration of things, I think that if I can play both the alto and tenor, I don't mind going down. After all, it's for the best of the band. Without a tenor, the band won't be able to survive very well, and with so many altos, the balance wouldn't be there. So what if I can play the alto very well? There's no one to support the altos right? I guess the thought of me moving down would be the best after all. I am seriously not trying to be complacent of anything, but I feel that giving up alto for tenor would be the best for the band. Okay, back to the phantom. I really feel that the props and the costumes are really well done. A really good job done, they were perfect and depicted to the audience the different tones used. The lightings were also great. Especially when there were bright lights shining over and over, they really brought out the whole scene.

Okay, then Friday, yesterday. It was pretty much alright. We had lessons and many free periods, spend these times looking through pictures, memories with Xiangyi and Rachael. Got a lot of these pictures now, I also realised one thing. How much I've matured over these years in secondary school. I have really come really far out as a person. From a young and immature sec one to a full fledged sec3, well, I wouldn't exactly say full-fledged but still I've really grown a lot. This brings me back to primary school where I was truthfully really very naive. Truthfully, I was really afraid of my Chinese teacher. I don't know where the influence came in, maybe it was because I did very badly in Chinese. And I when I said badly, I mean really badly, in fact, I was the only one who took higher mother tongue and failed in during PSLE. It's pretty stupid, I have a "un-graded" on my certificate now. And it looks really bad, I really shouldn't have taken higher mother tongue anyway, it was useless and to think I struggled so much with it. I guess there's really a plan for everything we do in our lives. Chinese is part of it, I guess god wanted for me to build a stronger foundation during the primary school years of my life. Well, god really has his plans and I'm really looking forward to getting to know them. We had chem practical, titration again, well, I managed to get 3 consistent readings, so it's pretty alright. After that was lunch then, Physics spa briefing. SPA's on monday, it's so soon, I'm not really prepared for it. But I guess life has to go on, and I need to be prepared for it, I guess this means revising. I leave that to tonight or tomorrow. After that, went home with xy and kelley. We had a really good talk, and now I figured out I can't do much about anything. I will just accept anything that comes. God has his plans for me, if he doesn't want me to do something, I won't force it. Anyway, God's plans are much more purposeful. I'll submit to all his plans, and not defy them. He was the one who gave me life. I guess my failure now, is also part of it, I guess god uses this to get me up on my feet once again like he did last year. I will really work harder, and strive for the best. I promise.

Okay, for today, I have nothing planned. It's going to be like last saturday again. BORING! But I guess it's a good time to catch up on sleep and do those things I never had time for. :D

YYYYY

4:46 PM
0 comments

New skin! ;D

YYYYY

3:38 PM
0 comments

Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
'Cause I've seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
and you don't know what to do
Nothing you confess could make me love you less.


I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you

So, if you're mad, get mad
Don't hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well, I'm a lot like you
When you're standing at the crossroads
and don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
'Cause even if you're wrong...

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you

Take me in, into your darkest hour
and I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
And when...
When the night falls on you, baby
You're feeling all alone
You won't be on your own
I'll stand by you...


A big thankyou to linda who sent me this song.
I'm in love with it! Lovely song. Today was pretty much alright, except for the fact that I failed both languages. English and Chinese. My life is so screwed, I'm just hoping that tomorrow will be a much better day for me. I really did my best, and even studied really hard. I'm not being complacent because I didn't fail any subjects for common test, but I really don't deserve to get such horrible marks. Firstly, the letter writing, hee didn't tell us must write the different sides to the letter. And, the model letter she gave us was like that. Argh! Can't believe I failed english because of that, it's just not fair. And chinese was even worst. Teacher minus marks for writing too much? That was what happened in primary school, not secondary school. It's just so unfair, and my compo was so well done. 23 wrong words!! I'm a totally loser. I need someone to comfort me now. I really did my best, and this is what my best got me. Well, I guess i'm not that smart after all, and I don't deserve to go to any good jc. I can just go to poly or something dumber. Parents aren't going to be happy, I guess, they won't scold me as usual, and tell me to do better next time. But that isn't going to cheer me up. I just let down myself. Life isn't great. It's cruel.

I'll forget about it, soon enough.
Let me show you show how my chinese paper looks like.
Teacher minus mark for writing too much! And she cancelled alot too!
Close up, notice how neat my handwriting is, as compared to as usual.
0 marks despite the fact that I took pains and time to write so much!
HAHAH. This one's the funniest. She critisised my answer!


And, this was my day! ;D

Me and caryn! ;D
Them, clearing up the mess! They were actually cutting and pasting clothes on to people!
Our new cheer!
Me, twinkle and gracia!
Our gang! The 8 of us!

A lovely day,
Tomorrow will be better, I hope.
Well, tomorrow's kinda big. Sec4s are stepping down, and we're getting back the rest of the results, and I'll be watching phantom of the opera at night!

I'm looking forward to tomorrow.

YYYYY